Do you ever feel so pains-taken that you could either pass out from the pain or just DIE?????
Well thats kinda how I feel....... its been a while since I have written a blog, and as I was rolling around in bed this morning, trying to get back to sleep, and then it hit me, that I NEED to write to help get rid of some of the feelings I am now feeling.
Last night I watched Twilight..... the first one (I didn't watch it before, because it didn't really interest me, now it is so interesting that I wish I didn't want to encompass it in my life). Now it as good don't get me wrong, the only problem I have with it, is simple....... Its unrealistic...... maybe its because I try to be as much as a realist as possible, and to me the thought of it all is incomprehensible, but I think its a deeper thing..... I'm not referring to vampires, and werwolves and everything like that make believe crap, what I am actually talking about is the love aspect...... how can love be so simple? be so cut and dry? so cookie-cutter? Love doesn't happen just like that. Yes, I get that it was gradual, that Bella moved from her mom's home, to her dad's home, and that she of course has a male childhood friend (that.... without having watched the second movie, or read any books, but know, because its a little predictable, is in love with her, of course there is this gorgeous childhood friend who comes back into her life) and when she moves, she not only reconciles with him, but also, of course upon starting her new school she meets and falls "unmistakably and irrevocably" in - love with Edward, the dream, meeting someone who cares for you undeniable, can't stand to be away from you, protects you with their life, makes you their life and wants nothing else to do, but to be with you....... It makes me upset and annoyed, jealous, sad and lonely--- questioning my life. Becuase they also ended up dating in real life...... I know its kinda large and my feelings are difficult to explain, buts Life isn't as simple as they make it out to be in the movies, is what I am getting at, I know that, I know others know that, but my heart doesn't know that, or is having difficulty grasping it.
The very fact that the fairy-tale, happy ending that we, females always strive for and longed for our entire life is nonexistent and impossible to find, so I should just forget about it entirely and stop searching for it. The thing too is that I am lonely........ I am 20 years old, going on 21 in July, have not yet had a boyfriend, serious or otherwise, and I am scared I am going to die alone (what if the world ends in 2012?) Its stupid of me to even be waiting for these things because everyone says they don't happen if you're waiting for them, they happen unknowingly.
Although this splurge of emotions has somewhat help me calm my nerves (maybe enough to go back to sleep) I still cannot help but feel sorry for myself. Sadly, enough the only way to make myself feel somewhat ok again, is to go on fuckmylife.com and postsecret.........
There's you and then there's me. I see you everywhere around campus, makes me really think if its coincidence or not. I could swear you notice me too, but I have yet to find out!!!
Today was the day of all days that made me want to walk up to you, sit down in front of you and start talking to you. I was walking to Kenneth Taylor Hall this afternoon, as I was getting ready to attend my Communications tutorial. I had gone to the Student Centre and grabbed some veggies before hand. I was starving after my first lecture. But as I opened the door to enter KTH, I dropped it all, as you watched me. Embarrassed and oblivious to your presence until I took a closer look, I quickly cleaned up my celery sticks and cucumber wedges. (I see food that has fallen, all over the place, and has been irresponsibly left there to get mushed under people's feet, I'm not that type of person as to leave it) I sat down (in front of the entrance) to try to get at least 10 minutes of working on my Gerontology paper in. The traffic of people going and coming, in and out was a little distracting so I gathered my stuff together to re-locate to a table closer to you, or to the one you were sitting at so I could strike up a conversation. I was indecisive and ended up just going down stairs to wait in front of my tutorial class, instead.
You've been on my mind ever since that first day I saw you, sitting in the same row as me, in the very first Sociology lecture we had this year, so proud you were, to have gotten your textbooks already. Red backpack is how I always distinguish you.
You seem really sweet, and some days I have the confidence to go up to you and either ask you for the time, while we pass each other in the courtyard, off to the side of Mills Library. Or to tell you "Nice shades" as I ride off on my bike, toward David Baileys Athletic Centre. And other times I just feel like walking past you, with that burst of fresh air in being so close, or by chance to see you somewhere else, out of the blue, to brighten my day. Unfortunately I don't even know your name, which kinda complicates things.
You were sitting behind me in lecture today. We made eye contact, twice, could've been more if I kept on looking back! After class as I walked up the steps I saw that you were making a couple of girls laugh. Are you a stud??? Hahaha, I saw you once more as I was waiting to see if my friend would come out of the lecture hall. She didn't..... but it was worth it, seeing you again.
I am not a creep, or a stalker, I am an observer, and have been aware of your attractive nature!!!
This is one of the coolest videos I have seen in a while, it really
captures the essence of how she is feeling about the relationship
situation she has been placed in. That and its one of those
videos that you just want to keep watching until the end, because
of the interpretative dance style. It's so powerful!!!
I admire Shakira a lot, she's beautiful, she's spanish, she's sincere,
she's down to earth, she can dance, sing, she has this charm about
her that cannot be compared to anyone. She's one in a million,
remarkable extraORDINARY. She's talented and she shares her gifts
with the world.
This video is a good example of uniqueness!!!!
Resisting Persuasion
http://changingminds.org/techniques/resisting/resisting.htm
Resisting persuasion is something that may be somewhat difficult to do, if you are easily convinced. However, preventing it, especially if you do not want to be persuaded, is something that can be done in a compliant and submissive manner. There is no need to be defensive or confrontational in you demeanor when dealing with a person, so willing to persuade you, as the article suggests. Granted some of the other points are accurate.
Persuasion goes hand in hand with being a good listener, you want to be persuaded and want to persuade people you must listen. The art of communication is through listening and being able to express yourself in an eloquent and “colourful manner, you can not do that properly without the party’s involved, listening. (Sévigny) You must then make yourself worth listening to, by choosing your words wisely to create a more intimate inter-personal relationship with you, the speaker and your audience, It’s essential for making things understandable. Using gestures, being conducive to others (being aware of their unique learning and processing of information styles), using examples, telling stories of your own experiences to build connectivity with them, respecting your audience, building credibility and being open minded are all aspects to be considered when trying to convey a message. (Sévigny)
In depth argument (that includes listening attentively), is what governs persuasion. There are two differing viewpoints to a particular topic that one is trying to convince the other person to change their mind on. It’s a way of communicating with numerous people on varying levels, to not only learn but validate your points, so that when it comes to them, determining which side to choose, they make an informed decision, baring all facts (presented) in mind.
The other techniques listed on the link at the start of this blog, are all extreme ways to obliterate persuasion and there are minor, more subtle and low key ways that won’t leave you with a reputation as a cynical dominating person. Some of them are and can be satisfactorily handled with little militancy.
Sévigny, A., Lecture 7 – “What is Listening?”, Wednesday, October 7
Lasch, Christopher. "The Lost Art of Argument." Media Studies Journal. (1991): 216. Print
Adler, Ronald B., George Rodman, and Sévigny Alexandre. Understanding Human Communication. Canadian. Don Mills, ON, Canada: Oxford University Press, 2008. 477, 478. Print.
I AM, I AM NOT, I WILL, I WILL NOT
Professor Sévigny talked about how language is symbolic (Sévigny), and with this video it holds true. Symbols are determined by people, and the collective meanings that have been invincibly agreed upon by members of society. In this video for example, my views and interpretations are obviously going to be different than someone else's because of the value of things I have been brought up with, my background of experiences that has shaped my understandings in addition to cultural meanings
That is without a doubt true. There are so many things now, that are advertised using advanced technology, giving impressions to the viewers that suggest the prevalent importance of emerging new and improved forms of communicating. As far superior than the old, peripheral ones. The elephant is the first animal, the clip says "a lonely elephant, a purposelessness surrounds me" To me this means that the elephant is viewed as an ancient animal, representing the old, uninteresting ways of expressing ideas, through their real forms instead of their created and recently composed ones. The elephant transforming into the horse; "A kind of cordial contempt I have", indicates that its moving forward from the old "mundane" ways of illustrating your thoughts, a "friendly disdain" neither good for leaving the previous ways behind, nor bad for moving ahead to better more comprehensive ways, a comfortable medium, if you will.
The Bear; "I feel nothing of the sort (cordial contempt) There is an uneasiness of power", not sure to continue along the path of development, enhancing the ways to the future, or to stay in history and let that bind you. Making decisions, "the power" can be hard to conceive especially where one might feel comfortable in the past and moving on could be completely new, it might not be the best solution to stay in one's comfort zone. It would be better to broaden your horizons and widen your methods of doing such things, in order to have a variety of ways known, to choose the best one suitable for that particular project. In the case of advertising and marketing, creating exciting and refreshing ways to present ideas, new products, a company, etc. are great ways in capturing the audiences' attraction, interest, and attention and drawing them into, to want to remember your commercial. An enticing piece to convince them to buy your products or the products that are being displayed in front of them. The final animal transformed by the bear is the eagle, and the clip shows it flying away while the man says saying, "I see happiness in the distance, good-bye, good-bye", my translation that the bird symbolizes excellence, and striving toward that, flying to it, the eagle which represents constant development knows that the level of capabilities can always be greater, higher, further. Hence it being an animal of flight. Able to fly to the destination of choice.
With consideration to mediums...... the way you present your ideas can make or break the audiences' captivation, and ability to retain what was just conveyed to them. As discussed in lecture five the four laws of the Medium would correspond as follows with specific emphasis on the advancement of technology in television advertising. Detailed and more intricate ways of creating a depiction of reality, as it appears through the eyes of most able bodied individuals within society, may intensify the concept of the advertisement, in the minds of those particular individuals. Exploring the virtual/actual divide as tronic studios has done, is the way that they've achieved a universal appeal that can be easily understood by adults and children alike. Tronic studios have taken aspects of both worlds; the organic (natural) and the rectilineal (artificial) to hybridized the two styles to fuse the third. A combination of both aspects of life are still predominant, otherwise the third (tronic) would cease to exist. The reversal potential of the new form of actively conveying a message is that some people could criticize it, not understand it, compromise the purpose of using extensive technology to make people understand the message, to want to make them buy into it. Tronic Studios have made commercials impressionable which has inadvertently made an impact on the viewers. (Sévigny)
Here is the much lengthier video of the owners and partners of Tronic Studios opening as speakers at F5, talking about their projects its concepts and explaining them thoroughly.
Tronic at F5 from TronicStudio on Vimeo.
Sévigny, A., Lecture 4 – “The Medium is the Message - Marshall McLuhan”, Friday, September 25, and Lecture 5 - "The Nature of Language", Wednesday October 14
It has been a crazy day, to say the least. I woke up earlier, hoping to go to the gym, was almost not going to go when I finally managed to leave my room, to discover the gorgeousness of the day, and to go do a 20-30 minute yoga exercise workout at the gym. Made me feel a little better. After being outside, knowing that I couldn't stay cooped up indoors all day, I took a little trip, to Limeridge Mall on Upper Wentworth Street, to have a look at what was available at the Bay, I don't have any money right now to be buying any elaborate Christmas gifts, or to be spending my money excessively. I only have a $10 gift card, that I won from that "Mothers Against Drunk Driving Campaign" booth that was set up during frosh week. So I like to browse around, to see what appeals to me, and know that I have a limit. I'm a student I have to be very economical.
I left my bike on the bus...... I didn't realize until I was at Limeridge Mall, a half hour away from downtown, where I made the transfer of busses. Thinking to myself that "I would not have been able to bike all the way up here." Realizing that in that moment, that in the rapidness of my descent from the first 5E bus and getting lost in the crowd, I had forgotten my bike on the front, Yikes!
Its funny because my bike is such a huge part of my life, its my baby, so me, absentmindedly leaving my baby on the bus. Totally not a good thing and my goodness, how "not-with-it" do you have to be??? I was freaking out that I would not ever see it again, an approximately $200 bike and I, thinking and hoping, foolishly that me looking around the Bay would help. It did nothing for me, because I almost ended up fully breaking down in tears within a few minutes of me looking at the jewelry section. I couldn't take another thing going wrong, not in my emotional day.
I was going around, looking for something to commemorate the day, and all its glory, but even that was a lost cause because I couldn't find a piece that was in my price range..... and on top of that the sales clerk gave me a look of suspicion that made me not want to purchase anything. She was very rude, not like the good quality service I'm used to receiving in Toronto. Very disgruntling.
On my way back from the very disappointing 3-4hr trip I had taken for the day, I called the HSR, to see if there was a place to pick up lost items, and it appeared that my luck was turning around, I spoke with the sweetest bus driver who suggested for me to call the garage (where all the busses would later be going to park for the night)at around 6:30 -7:00 pm to find out if there was a bike that was turned in. And if there was I would most likely have to pick it up tomorrow, given that the hours for pickup of lost items, ends at around 5 ish.
Well when I finally got back to the university I waited for another 5E bus, to see if their was a slight chance that 1). the next bus coming would be the exact one that had my bike, and 2). that my bike would still be there. Since I didn't have immediate luck on that end, I then proceeded to pick up food at "Need a Pita" in the Mary Keye's Residence building, got served by a cute guy, he was stingy on the $5.80 pita, but I could tell that he was new so I let it slide, that, and he was super nice to look at. =) Reasoning enough to make me believe things were looking up.
Brought the food back to my residence, to discover a message left on my machine 8) "Yes" I said to myself, as I was expecting one. And alas I got a message from the HSR dispatcher, telling me to call him back. I did, promptly. When I got a hold of him, he told me to go out and wait for the 6:15pm bus at Emerson and Main, the number was 806, and that one would have my bike on it, which meant a huge weight off my shoulders, saving me the trip tomorrow all the way out to their Upper James garage. So I left my residence in a hurry as I had to go all the way to the front of campus, in under 10 minutes, it was 5:55pm at this time. Its not a long walk to get there, but I wanted to ensure that I would be there in time. So I ran, stopping to catch my breath. Sitting on a bench on the opposite side of the street that the bus, that would have my bike would be on, prompted me to do even more running. As I stood to see if the next bus that was coming, had a bike at the front I new I had to race across the street to finally 5 hours later, be re-united with my bike. Phew
As I rode away, I told my bike (yeah I talk to it, when you become attached to something as precious as my bike, I can't help but NOT talk to it), I would never do that again, I would make a mental note in my head each time that I placed my bike at the front of any bus, to remember to get it before I step 10 feet away, or I would park and lock it up prior to getting on the bus, so that my mind would be free from it. Or I could just ask the bus driver to remind me to get my bike before leaving.
I am soooooo relieved and beyond happy that everything with that, is back to normal!!!!
Getting my workout for the day, it was all good!!! It really was all good, because later on I checked my University email and I got one telling me that my access card into the building had been found and handed back in to the Student Service Desk in Commons, I thought I had lost it and now I don't have to put out $50 to buy a new one! =) Yay. With my constant torment on that I have learned my lesson to ALWAYS, always keep it in my wallet, at least till the end of the year.
Alright, alright so here's the deal....... within the past couple of weeks I have learned and realized a lot- and I mean A LOT with being in University, most of which I will disclose at a later date, due to biased parties involved, or that will be included in my further writings.
Today I had to re-write my Hinduism Quiz, because I was not given ample time on ELM, that my professor had properly allocated toward it, which was beyond bizarre. It was funny, I am so used to the high school way of writing quizzes that I did not think to open my books and look at my notes, which my professor said she would not object to......... I learned that with only five minutes remaining, after a second student had come in to write her's as well. Dr. Pearson even handed me her text book, which had the secret notes of a professor written in it!!!
Once completed, I then headed off campus, to booster juice to find out that they do not accept the McMaster meal plan card, fabulous, a healthy place to get nutritious and delicious fruit energizing smoothies and I don't have access to it because I don't even have excess money to spend. And McMaster University which is in such close proximity, does not even have any connection whatsoever to it. Wonderful.
Thinking that this might occur, I went to Boston Pizza to get an extremely satisfying chicken salad for lunch.
Taking my time, faithfully reading my RISK novel, and knowing I had to, at least leave at 12:45 to make it to my volunteer for 1:15, I absentmindedly left later than I anticipated. The thing was, I was so full from that salad, that all I wanted to do was just sit there, and read for an hour, and not go to volunteer, to let my food absorb into my system. I knew I had to leave and I knew I was going to be late, regardless of what time I left, although timing would determine HOW late I would be. And so I carried on my way quickly, racing, to beat the clock, little did I know there were other plans, written in the stars for me....... I had a flat tire on my bike, and couldn't go as fast as I wanted to. (As I was taking the bike trail, going down the hill, onto the bridge and back up I had to descend as it was far to much torture for my bike) I had to go to the washroom and could not hold it, so I had to make a pit-stop at Metro to use there facilities. I also had to check something out at LCBO, and after those short short errands I continued, on foot, leaving my bike locked up at Metro. Wentworth Lodge Senior Community centre was only a five minute walk from University Plaza, so I wasn't going to be too late.
I arrived at 1:30, only to go upstairs to the recreational hall, to find no-one there. Starting to walk away Denise says hello to me, from behind me, she is the volunteer supervisor there, and I thought my luck was changing........ nope, because after my 2. 1/2 hour volunteer session I had a headache that was getting worse by the minute.
I couldn't leave without saying "hi" to my friend Olga, so I chatted with her for a bit, met one of her good friends and former neighbors; Marria and her husband Henry (the ninth). I had to get pick up my bike and get back to school and get some food. I knew I wasn't going to make my next lecture, as a matter of fact I purposefully missed it because I knew I would fall asleep in it. And I could be doing way more productive stuff rather than that, so I stayed and read, before heading back to rez, to check my email, and relax before my last class of the day- Social Work.
I also failed to mention that at Wentworth Lodge I met a young teenager who is now doing the Katimavik program, the same one I did a couple of years back.... Not very much to say, or not very elaborate in saying what she did, she was extremely limited, she was very reserved. I didn't like that, I'm an outgoing person and she was giving me nothing to really work with. What a fool.
As of today (Friday) my new life starts!
