This week, started out like a typical week of a University student, waking up late to miss my first tutorial, unintentionally at 10:30AM. Great, just lovely!!!
I've been going to bed "late" or what would have been considered late to me a year ago, but now seems like a pretty normal time. I was reading one of my leisurely books, called RISK, its so good, one of the best things about it is that its such an easy read, you can leave it, and come back to it whenever you want, without having to re-read anything to understand where you are.
I have been reading it since April, and although I would have been done reading it already had I'd been consistent with it..... I am taking full advantage of the fact that its less demanding on the brain, that and, its a great escape from the school reading material, that I (terribly enough) never put in the effort to read!!! Ooops, my mistake, I'll probably be regretting it when I fail to take the proper amount of notes for my exams and I have to frantically cram my understanding of all course material!! But right now, its worth it!!!!
Today I did not have class until 5:30 since I missed my tutorial, and I wanted to go out and read (some of my textbooks) but instead of that I made a new friend while taking photos of the beautiful colours that this season brings, and only managed to read a little bit of Buddhism, before getting hungry and heading off to Bridges to grab a veggie burger, and go back to my residence to try and do my Hinduism quiz.
To make matters a little bit more unjustly (with the way I had started my day)
I fell asleep in my Anthropology lecture, always, always seems to be the trend, nowadays with me. I know that it may be a sign that I need to give myself adequate sleep, and make time to have a nap during the day, and I probably don't take the class as seriously as I should, but its just so chill, and I mean this in the nicest way possibly, but my prof. has such a soothing voice that just puts you to sleep, that and no offense, but learning about the world's cultures not exactly the most interesting of topics, to me anyway, I know that some people obviously find it fascinating, and I give them amends for it!
I am finding that religion is going pretty well though, I'm understanding it more so then what I was at the beginning of the term (& school year) so thats a definitely good thing, I find that I put in effort too, I can't afford to do poorly in anymore, if any of my courses!!! Learning about others' belief system is so cool ! =)
I better get back to composing the thoughts for my buddhism essay due in a couple of weeks, and I'll be setting the alarm to ensure that today's episode of being late for tutorial does not repeat itself, and does not become a daily occurrence!
This week was the most hectic week I've had since I've been here at school. This past weekend I had my mom come and visit me, bring me some groceries and talk. I had a Hinduism paper to write for my Monday Religion class, and we were talking about that a great deal. I had already written the majority of my paper, or my initial thoughts prior to her arrival, and so when we discussed the gods and goddesses of Hindu culture, I had no idea that it would throw me off and make me feel as though all what I had written was null and void and inadequate in some sort of way. Despite the fact that I had stayed up until 4AM in the morning on Friday to get it all down, only to have to stay up till 4AM again on Saturday to re-compose my thoughts and combine them into something that would be worthwhile to read and that sounded like I had some knowledge on Hindu Religion. It was tough stuff, especially since the Thanksgiving weekend prior I hardly did any reading and was reading the bulk of my books during the time of my writing.
Then to make me work even more... I also had an Anthro paper due on Monday, this one was my mid-term assignment, that seemed pretty simplistic but then again I don't know quite what was expected of us, so I am just hoping that I did well. SUNday I thought it was going to be a laid back day, just work on my Anthro... I had planned to work on my Tuesday Sociology Proposal on Monday, so I though I'd be good. I had managed to organize and gauge my time accordingly. Little did I know I had another thing coming...... because when I went back to re-read my Hinduism paper to make sure everything was ok, and well worded, flowing, everything you want in a paper, opening the one I had deemed insufficient in addition to my newest version, I accidentally deleted my Anthropology Critic (which I foolishly did not save) This can't be happening I thought, it just can't be, It has to be here somewhere....... I was swearing all over the place at this point, realizing that it wasn't going to show up out of nowhere. Desperate I ran up stairs to find my room-mate in her boyfriend's room to ask her if there was any possibility to recover anything on Pages (Mac's word processing program)
NO, zilch, nada, nothing, although her boyfriend told me to just open pages and try to start a new document, maybe something would show up enabling me to recover the lost document, you know like Word? But I didn't even save it, so there was no chance of that, which meant all day Monday would have to be dedicated to me working frantically to remember and rewrite everything I had lost. This also meant that I could not spend the time I had allocated for my Sociology, on my Sociology, I had to use it to do my Anthro mid term. Joyous occasion.
Needless to say I finished it in time, about an hour before my lecture. But I can't confidently say it didn't set me back, because it did........ See tuesday I had my Soc. due and I didn't get to it at all, I tried on Monday night, after my Religion course ending at 9pm, but I was unable to stay up past 2AM reading those peer-reviewed journal articles because my eyes just started closing. And I knew from that instant it was time to go to sleep. I actually transfered to my bed, which kinda set me up to fall asleep, but who can blame me? I had stayed up till 4, two "nights" in a row and couldn't do a third. My body needs rest.........I could not function properly without it.
Tuesday night I even tried staying up to find articles to write my proposal for Wednesday, as I had spoken to my TA, and told her I would try to get it done then, but I could not decide for the life of me, what to write about everything I decided to do, didn't have enough articles on it, and so I was stuck, I ended up staying up till 3, talking to my friend who helped me decide on a topic that I then changed my mind from.
Wednesday I had to start and finish studying for my Gerontology exam, which was on Thursday. Totally last minute but not too bad, nothing too extensive. Just reading the summaries of the chapters, and making notes. Thursday was a day that I also had my late Social work class. Had to come back to rez and work on my assignment for that class, due Today at 9AM. I even left my lecture early, nothing I like to broadcast to the entire internet worlds but it is pod-casted, and I knew that I had a lot of work to do, so I worked on it diligently till 5 in the morning, went to sleep at 6, got up at 10, and was working on my Sociology proposal which I finally had time to do. I got it done by around 4PM today, sent it to the instructional assistant, who is responsible for late papers and am DONE, for the week.
Except at the same time not, because I have some other less pressing things to do, which I'll probably end up doing tomorrow and Sunday.
It's Homecoming. I might go, I'm not too sure!!!! A whole lot of drinking, something I've left in my past...... for the time being!!!!! It's a skeleton in my closet that might be coming out sooner than later!!!
Today was one of the worst days since, I've been here at McMaster. I woke up with a headache, and had to forgo my plans to go to the gym yet again this morning. I was really looking forward to it! I haven't been to the gym in a while, due to my fluctuating sleeping schedule, and my work load. Sleep to me takes priority over exercise, how can one fully function properly without a good night sleep? How can you get up and have a substantial work out, if you're tired? Doesn't make sense.
Its a good thing I have my bike to keep me active, because otherwise, I think I might just lose it... Gym work outs are a source of calm, and a way of bringing me back to reality, balancing my stress and my down time. I need it, especially now, given all the assignment and papers I have due next week, and with the on-set of midterm and exam time coming shortly. Its something that needn't not be dismissed.
Ever since I got back from Toronto (for Thanksgiving long weekend), I've been developing symptoms for a cold. I know, I know pretty horrible, I'll say, considering I've been blessed to not have gotten sick since my arrival at school. It is without a doubt the season for colds, the flu the recent over publicized pandemic of H1N1, and GERMS. My immune system has been weakened with the constant exposure to more than 1000 people within a day. In addition to that I have my wisdom teeth coming in, causing a lot of discomfort and possible development for bacteria to prosper. Maybe that is what caused my all-day headache/ migraine today. Either way I am convinced that my immune system needs a boosting.
Other things that went wrong today, weren't in the thousands, but simply the fact that I was paralyzed due to my intensified migraine; my head was throbbing so bad that it was painful for me to walk. I awoke from my nap that I decided to take to get rid of my headache, to find that I was extremely hungry, disoriented I left to go to the kitchen to prepare some food, absentmindedly forgetting my keys in my room, locking myself out for the second time.
My roommate's class didn't finish till 3:30, I didn't find her until 4 and this was around 1:45 that a had realized I placed myself in quite the predicament. So I was waiting a good couple of hours before finding her on her laptop in her friend's room upstairs. Fortunately for me she was planning on coming down, and hadn't left for her last class of the day yet. I didn't go to the commons and get my lock out key, to have to pay a mere $3 because I'm a stubborn person, and I'm short on cash, a lot, a lot, a lot. That and when I locked myself out, I had no sweater on, no shoes or anything like what I would need to go out into the wilderness of the outdoors to face my cold, with the cold. Not a good combination at all and I wasn't willing to risk it.
Upon returning to the warmth of my room, I quickly messaged my friend to apologize for not meeting her 2 1/2 hrs prior, which I was unable to do because of the perils of my body. We had postponed for later on, and went to the library to take out books for our Religion papers dues next week, at around 6:30, we also made dinner plans at East Side Mario's. Needless to say that didn't happen, because it took forever for us to find useful material.
Heading back to residence at 7:30, I feel something wet rubbing against my leg, and what do I open my bag to discover....... that I did not seal my Klean Kanteen lid tightly enough, and that it was trickling water. Oh yeah. How Fabulous that is to top off my day!
I immediately removed my books and carried them the rest of the way to the commons, where, I wouldn't pick up dinner because of such a limited selection for people who eat the way that I do.
I just finished my first volunteering day at Wentworth Lodge Community Service Centre for Seniors, and I gotta say, not at all bad. I didn't think it was going to be bad but I didn't know what to expect either. See I have never ever worked in an Old Folks home in my life, I've only worked a short period of time indirectly with seniors when I was in Saskatchewan on Katimavik, and that was simply working around them, making cards, so I really doubt that even qualifies. This is completely new to me and I really like the atmosphere at Wentworth Lodge. It's so homey and welcoming. The interactions I am having with the seniors. Nothing but positiveness, thus far.
Today, as I can say for the following 5 week period on Thursdays from 1:15 -3:15 pm, I will be in the pamper yourself session between Liliac Lane, and Beach Avenue (who came up with these names???? They are amazing and so creative) Really makes you feel you're living in a part of paradise. The pamper yourself slot of the week is a time when volunteers offer to paint the nails of some of the female seniors. Its a low-key activity that enables for conversation between you and you senior counterpart.
I ended up having a nice conversation with the first lady that had me paint her nails...... She was extremely pleasant and our talk was very comfortable. The second elderly woman whom had her nails done, was another sweetie. She was polite, observant and picky as to what coloured she wanted, but tolerable. I for one understand what its like to be selective. People like they're coffee a certain way, they like to choose what they wear and if it suits them, the same goes for nail polish. Plus I am highly choosy when it comes to the food I eat and in what combinations. I can relate to having things done a particular way.
I grew up not knowing either pairs of my grandparents, so I'm kinda lacking in that department. I don't have any relationship to compare my interactions with these seniors to. Despite the fact that its my first official day at Wentworth, I can't help but feel I have this profound connection with this elderly female that reminds me a lot of my dad's lifelong family friend- Lili. I feel as though I can talk to her about any and every thing, our conversation just comes so naturally. Although I haven't been going there for a long time, I've already started building a solid friendship with her. I can say that she feels like a grandmother to me, maybe thats a little creepy and too fast for me to be thinking of her in that way, but honestly I haven't had that opportunity before and I am privileged to be volunteering at such a place.
I'm looking forward to seeing her next Thursday as well. I already have so many things to collect and put together to bring from home to show and share with her. She is such a sweetheart. I first met her on Monday, which after persistent one-way communication, was my orientation day. They were knitting in one of the recreational rooms upstairs on Beach avenue, I don't know how to knit, but beleive it or not, I know how to crochet quiet well. It wasn't as excessive an interaction as my one today was. She has multiple-sclerosis and that is no, whatsoever an impediment to her up beat personality.
I never thought I'd be so angry, especially having had only 4 wks here, a month of adaptation. Not a long time at all I know, but since the beginning of my arrival here I thought extremely differently..... I didn't make a lot of friends to start and all are my friends I have... well they seem to not be there for me when I need them and I can't take it!!! The closer (in location) ones anyway.
The first guy friend I had, nice guy, younger then me. I thought he was mature but I was mislead. His sarcasm and his brusque are the reasons we no longer talk..... it's a little awkward when we see each other in the hallway of our residence because we used to be at a point where we said "hi" and "how are you?" a genuine sense of caring, but now there is nothing of the sort, and although I claim I am ok and fine with things not being cool between us, I'm not I'm bothered by it in fact. I don't really know why, I am the one who told him I don't care, and I told him that because he doesn't have to be so rude with what he says. I'm a girl and its all in the way you say something. The way he said things was insultive, demeaning , belittling and contradicting. I don't need that crap in my life, I've gown up with it enough and I have no patience or tolerance for it!!!
My other friend who lives on the same floor is a sweetheart but today she pissed me off. She is very insistent sometimes, I, on the other hand am stubborn and refuse to comply on the basis of my standards. Not to say that she doesn't fit into my standards, but some of the things she was offering, I just didn't want. I like her, I really do but I said something and she responded in a way that angered me to the core. She sensed something was off, and left the room immediately, guess thats one of the good things about her, is she knows how to read me.
She was supposed to help me learn, and re-teach me about Hinduism and when I tried to get help I didn't really have any questions compiled for her to answer, but I was hoping she would just go off on her own little mini speech about it, and get me informed about things I've misunderstood in lecture. But because of that comment she made I just wanted her to leave, I'm sensitive and was especially so with the remark she made because it didn't support my feelings or my original thoughts. I dismissed her presence with little thought and consideration. I was the one now, that was being extremely abrupt in my actions toward her.
I thought I was in the wrong to her, so I went to make amends by asking her to help me again, you know I'd thought I'd give it another try. Little did I know or even think about was the fact that she'd be doing her own work, not having all the free time in the world to help me whenever she could. Somehow I registered with only that thought in my mind and I was disappointed yet again, but its not her who disappointed me, it was myself. I walked away with a negative feeling, that didn't make me feel much like doing anything but writing.
The constraint of our conversation that caused so much controversy in my mind was that of a gentleman. Ah, but of course, what else has so much depth? so much meaning? so much priority in the female psyche? Where I had thought he was interested she did not, and stated it quite bluntly, that is why I did not want her company anymore. Just speculation and just her opinion..... I know but it made me think that perhaps he isn't interested and I've been reading the signals wrongly and fooling myself, like I always have a tendency to do, despite my intuitiveness. I questioned my observations, his motives. I became puzzled which lead to a letdown, which lead to anger. Now, I can see that he doesn't like me the way I want him to. He is probably impartial on the matter of my attractiveness!
DID YOU KNOW:
NO, I actually didn't know half the information being dispelled across the screen in front of me.
Its all simply amazing though. How something so simple can be designed in such a manner that adds so much more creativity and profundity to the information and the presentation of the knowledge you obtain after viewing the video. Outstanding really, but not surprising in the least that the digital advertising age is growing rapidly and traditional advertising is in a down hill spiral, diminishing significantly. Its unfortunate though, I must say because the traditional ways of doing things brings a lot more meaning, value and importance to them. Take for instance letter writing, yes it does take a lot more time for your respective correspondent to receive the letter you wrote and to reply back and you risk the chance of the information in which you are sharing to be inaccurate upon arrival, due to the length of time it takes to get there; but, hand writing a piece of scripture has effectiveness to it that no digital media can compare to.
Contrastingly, if you were to write an e-mail, or facebook a message, the factor of time would have collapsed because the communication between you and your correspondent would be instantaneous, in that he/she would receive you message as soon as you send it out , making the content conducive to the time of transmission. That immediacy would have a profound impact on the level of information being conveyed. It may be construed as less sincere depending on the content of the message, but due to the convenience and inexpensiveness (its free!) of it, people due it more often. Anything we can get away with, we will, its human nature. Inevitably it has become a part of our culture, age of the new technologies and we've all become slaves to it.
Having televisions in the washroom is a concept I will never ever conform to, much less understand. Is it a way of doing two seemingly important tasks at once? I don't get it! I don't wont to be ready for the future if this is what it entails! Its scary to think that in all but 25 years what fits in our pockets now, will fit in one tiny blood cell, thats how advanced our society is becoming!!!
Please See Video No. 3 in Video Bar
Last night, I had my social work class, the nature of my lecture was different than any other ones I had previously... always interesting, I'll admit. This one in particular had a sympathetic approach and more of a sense of sadness in comparison to the rest. We had a guest speaker from Hamilton's Roundtable Poverty Reduction; Tom Cooper, as compelling as it is to learn about Social Welfare stories, I felt emotionless, or, I refused to feel emotion. Drowning off into oblivion, my own thoughts completely separated me from the lesson being taught and the mind set I was supposed to have or I felt I was supposed to have was not there.
It was a barrier to my understanding and my ability to listen intently, which I wasn't NOT doing, I was. In fact I was, perhaps feeling so much for the situations because it kinda hit close to home. It made me feel fearful of what my circumstance could be like in a couple years. The very possibility that anything can happen to anyone at any given time was beckoning the power of my thinking. That alone was a huge eye opener that made me feel like maybe Social Work is something that would not bode well for my person. I am, without a doubt, one of the most empathetic people, that have sincere emotional attachments to relationships, I become a nurturing and protective spirit when I get involved and as I would eventually learn to limit and reduce that I am afraid that this in my character will be deteriorated upon commencement of any social work related matters. It's a risk I am not willing to take, and therefore have forgone the idea of my presence in the Social Work field in society.
I will forever have respect for social workers as they, like the always busy Tim Horton's employees, work so hard at their jobs to shift the current inequalities among less fortunate people. I know it may be too early in the year to decipher if this is something I am so easily able to dismiss, or not; however, I am unable to explain my feelings in Lecture last night. I had an epiphany and it made my outlook so much brighter.
